Sunday, March 05, 2006 -- 7:11 PM

Somehow I find it hard to put words to any of my thoughts lately. They're unkempt and disorganized and words just won't tame them. I feel like I know how my life is going at college, with a set schedule to follow like I've never really known before. It's nice to feel like I'm accomplishing something and making my life go somewhere. It also is forboding to know that the simple years of my life are almost gone, like a game of tag played at dusk. You only realize it's dark when you stop running and sweating and laughing and take a look around you for a minute, and sometimes it takes you by surprise.

I've always thought I had a pretty good perspective on life. I've always thought I more or less had things in hand, or that they would work themselves out, and for the most part they have. I've been feeling nostalgic lately, and I don't always like that because usually it means I'd rather be then than now. For that reason I don't like taking a lot of pictures of myself and I don't own a lot of pictures of my friends. The way I see it, I want to remember my life and friends and special times as my mind sees them, truly, not from the narrow perspective of one trying to build barriers against time. It is a futile endeavour always, and it is better to live truly and in the present.

The future lies written in God's unwavering handwriting. I take comefort in knowing that the trials and blessings we encounter today are but thickening plots and developing characters.