Monday, August 21, 2006 -- 7:11 PM

Something strange happened to me this morning. I woke up, got dressed, ate breakfast, and got into my car as usual, but then as I merged onto the freeway I began to smell my heater, and it smelled like winter. I suddenly missed it a lot, realizing that I would not be here for the first snowfall of the season and experience the excitement and joy of it. Last year, being away from home, it was the first time that I really thought about it in a really nostalgic way, as much as I've always loved it.

It seems like more and more of my feelings these days are contaminated with nostalgia, and as nice as it seems I don't like it. It makes me ask myself why I can't still enjoy my life like I used to, but if I'm honest with myself I'll finally admit that those days were the same as these days, and the future is the same as the past. This realization, when it truly comes, I am sure will be a nice one and as warm as some apple cider under a brightly-lit tree.

Saturday, August 19, 2006 -- 9:59 AM

frying cats and broken backs

Try to concentrate for a moment
the concentration of paved cement
focus on everything and bring it all down
burn it down to it's barest tar

ignore the blank blocks and the dirt trails in your brain

become fresh and new
use your surroundings if you have to

remorse won't help
instead take on the perspective of now
the here and the sunbaked lazy now

you will soar, i guarantee it

either that or you will fall
and that old hairline crack
that children's game
will split wide to reveal your doubt.

Sunday, August 13, 2006 -- 1:49 PM

Dear Diary

It's nice to be back in Washington State. It's nice to relax and unwind, although I haven't been doing much sleeping. Yesterday was Endfest, and I saw the Subways, Mars Volta, Wolfmother, and the Chili Peppers. All in one day! Good music, good company, and good food, by which I mean good cigarettes. Other food was too bloody expensive.

The Subways were good, probably the most energetic band of them all. At one point the lead singer climbed up the side of the stage and onto the overhang and just chilled out. They also had a really hot bass player. Wolfmother was pretty good, but kind of silly at the same time. It's hard to take them seriously, partly due to the lead singer's unusually high/singsong speaking voice and interaction with the audience (apparently they actually took Kurt Cobain's spirit and turned it into Wolfmother. I guess they did that when I was looking at the freakishly hyper kids sitting right in front of us, because I missed that. I'm sure it was something to see.), and partly because they had a definite classic rock image in mind that they were trying to mimic. I don't appreciate that.

Mars Volta should have been good, but I couldn't hear the lead singer's vocals, and someone threw urine on the stage, and one of their amps blew. They were pretty pissed.

The Chili Peppers were awesome. They played more of their old stuff than I thought they would, which made me happy. I was a dissapointed in their audience interaction though; all they really said was that they were pissed off at the guy who threw urine on Mars Volta, and that Washington was a beautiful state, which is actually kind of obvious to most people. The music was good though.

Tomorrow it's Pike's Place Market and the Seattle Underground, and from there who knows.

Friday, August 04, 2006 -- 9:29 AM

Because Everyone Wants to Know What I've Been Reading and Listening to

Thomas More's Utopia is what I've been reading. I thought it would be more of a dry read, but he has a sense of humour about the whole thing. For instance, More places this perfect communist society in the at-the-time newly discovered New World. Also, the names of various characters and places are oxymoronic; "No-man," "Babbler," and even Utopia means "No-land". These names are given to the places and people that More speaks most highly of, which makes me think that he wrote the entire thing tongue-in-cheek. I should look into that. That would explain the lack of any arguments against Utopia as being justified in the book. Over and over he says that utopia is perfect, there are no problems there, all of our petty problems in our society are completely done away with and even laughed at by the Utopians, etc.

Especially interesting was the very end, when he discusses religion. Very ecumenical and tolerant, considering that More was a Catholic. The Utopians see the obvious truth of Christianity, he says, but accept all creeds, and incorporate them into their worship so that everyone can worship together. Maybe this is some more sass thrown our way, but if not that would be interesting.

So, I've been listening to Thom Yorke's new CD, The Eraser thanks to Daniel's recommendation. Very electronic, as he said. Not immediately falling in love with it, as he said. It sure sounds like radiohead though, except less musical, and a lot more about the lyrics. The focus seems to be almost entirely on the lyrics, which is fine I guess, I just have to get used to it.