Monday, December 10, 2007 -- 6:13 PM

I've been trying to blog for the past year now, so far with no real results. It's funny to me, since I used to look forward to blogging as a way of getting rid of the stuff that piled up in myself. I took it pretty seriously and thought to myself more than once, "Whatever happens, I'll always have blog." For a long time now I've missed that, but every time I logged in to write, I haven't been able to organize my thoughts. I think that part of that is because I feel restless and more stressed out than I've ever been. Blogging was never a way for me to relieve stress. When it comes down to it, the real reason is that I've found other ways to download my thoughts. At least that's one of the reasons.

It's a funny feeling to have accomplished two-thirds of your life goals. It's almost an empty feeling, but I would only compare it to emptiness, I would never define it like that. The first goal that I've accomplished is that I live in Washington. For as long as I can remember, this place has been an orientation for me, somewhere that is always friendly, nostalgic, interesting; always good. Something that is a part of me, that I understand and can fit into. Now that I'm here, it's great. It has met and exceeded my expectations, but it is no longer an orientation, it has been fulfilled. I've changed since I moved here. Part of me feels like I've regressed, but that's part of growing, isn't it?

I didn't even realize that I had life goals, really, until I started thinking about this. Now that I've thought about it some more, I don't really want to call them that. I think I'll call them accomplishments instead. Not life accomplishments, just accomplishments.

I've made some great friends here in Washington, and I've fallen in love, too, and convinced her to return my love. That's my second accomplishment, although I would say that's more hers than mine. Love was my other faraway place that seemed so wonderful from a distance, and turned out to be actually better once I was there.

Having that connection with good friends and a trusted co-conspirator in life has made blogging obsolete for me. It's time for a new purpose, some more hopes, and a little drive to accomplish my last goal. With all that I have, how can I fail?